Meet Active Minds: Stephanie Villaire

Stephanie Villaire is Active Minds’ current president, and she is a neuroscience major from St. Louis, MO. She restarted TCU’s chapter of Active Minds during her freshman year two years ago along with some of her friends (notably: me), and has graciously volunteered to share her story:

Something I always try to advocate for in regard to mental health is the ability to be vulnerable and share your story. That being said, here’s mine.

I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri, the daughter of a fairly wealthy salesman father and educated mother. I had everything I could’ve ever wanted—a second home on a lake, yearly vacations, and a weekly allowance. That’s why, when I started experiencing depression, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

It was about eighth grade when I started crying myself to sleep. I would try to text my friends, but they didn’t understand what I was going through. I didn’t blame them though—I didn’t even know what I was going through. I would stifle my cries in my pillow for fear of my parents waking up and hearing. I had always learned to keep my emotions to myself. I was supposed to be able to handle my own feelings, so why was I so upset? I started withdrawing from friends and throwing myself into school. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I finally decided to get help.

It started by talking to my high school guidance counselor. After meeting with her weekly I built up the courage to tell my mother. She was understandably shocked, and soon after I began going to therapy. A few months into therapy I started medication. It took a year and a half before we decided I needed a psychiatrist. Another year later I finally stabilized my medication. My official diagnosis is: ADHD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and Panic Disorder.

It has been a long journey to get to where I am now, but it is so worth it. Depression has its ups and downs, but what is most important is not losing sight of the “ups.” Therapy is worth it. Medication is worth it (if it is right for you). Talking to friends and family is worth it. You are worth it.